Showing posts with label passive writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label passive writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday Writing Tip ~ 4/11

Editing - Cutting Unnecessary Words
Continuing on from last week's tip, another trick that really helped me tighten my writing was to find filler/filter words that I overused.  Filler words are ones that don't really belong in your novel in most cases.  For some reason, they trip naturally off your fingers as you type, and seem like they belong.  Here is a pretty comprehensive list someone once gave me:

 just, then, that, feel, feeling, felt, there, knew, know, maybe, see, saw, hear, heard, could, couldn't, ly adverbs, up, down, was, were, wonder, think, thought, realize, watch, look, can, decide, sound, so.

Again, as with was, sometimes you do actually need a word on this list and it is appropriate to use it, just remember, a little goes a long way.  See if sentences can be rearranged to take the filler word out or use a stronger word to express the same idea.  Let us live through the action with your characters, instead of using these words and distancing us from them.

Example:  Kelly felt the cool breeze against her skin.  She knew tomorrow would be a hard day when the trial started.  She wondered what Eric was doing right now.  Was he watching the same stars, thinking of her?

The bold words need to go (if possible) right?  We want to feel Kelly's anxiety, be inside her head.

A cool breeze caressed Kelly's skin, raising goosebumps.  She shuddered.  The trial started tomorrow.  It would be terrifying to face all those people.  Perhaps she caught Eric's fear while visiting him this afternoon.  Kelly shook off her melancholy and gazed into the night sky.  Maybe Eric sat in his jail cell right now, peering through the bars on the window at these same stars.  Did he even consider her? Did he worry what the trial would do to her? 

I know, I always add so many more words when I show how to get rid of the ones that don't belong.  The deal is, when I visualize the scene, sometimes it requires more words to explain so the reader can live in the moment with me.  I hope you agree that it is easier to become invested in Kelly's plight with the second example.

Notice I did use the word maybe even thought it's on the "Do Not Use" list.  As with everything, not all advice is absolute. Personally, I like the word maybe.  I like the feel of it.  I'm always aware when I choose to use it that I'm not 'supposed to,' but I do choose to use it.  Artistic license, writer's voice, all that good stuff.  Don't compromise yourself or your writing voice, just to follow someone else's rule.  This little tidbit took me a long time to figure out, so keep it front in your mind.  Ultimately, you are the creator.  If you really want to break one of the rules, break it, just know that you are.

My biggest word problem, not on the list, was the word "had."  On my first-ever critique, a critter told me to do a search for had and take them all out.  Apparently, she thought I overused it.  She must have not understood my vision, my wonderful writing abilities and my... Oh, no!!

Boy was my face red!  Had appeared in one single paragraph five times! And it only needed to be there once!  I'm also quite partial to "so" and "that" and always have to go through to ax those suckers.

Tighten words wherever you can.  Be brutal!  At first when I started revising Always and Forever, chapters 12 and 13 were horrible, even though I redid them several times.  That's when I realized a lot of stuff needed to be cut out.  I axed over 1000 words, turning two chapters into one, and it was horribly difficult to do.  But really, cutting is much easier since then and I've improved in my ability to see when something doesn't work.  I will now cut entire paragraphs without batting an eyelash if they aren't really helping the story.

Ruthlessly cut any word that isn't adding to your work.  I won't lie, it hurts at first to throw away your words, but will help you in the long run (besides, if it is a lot of words at a time, you don't have to really throw them away--save them to a different document and maybe you can use them later).

Here is another blog that shows an example on cutting these filler/filter words writeitsideways.

Happy writing, everyone!  Have a fantastic week!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Writing Tip Wednesdays ~ 4/4

Editing


The hardest part of writing, for me at least, is editing.  Until having critique partners at Critique Circle look at my work and tell me all the things I did wrong, I didn't know about the rules of writing.  That said, don't worry about this stuff too much while you are actually writing.  Creating is much different from editing.  Thinking about the rules make it hard for me to put two words down, let alone create an entire scene.

The most helpful editing tip a critique buddy told me was to try not to use the word "was".  Every class I took said - show, don't tell - but I didn't really understand what that meant.  However, if you are using was, were, is, or are in your writing, you are probably telling.  Another way this is stated is passive writing.  The action isn't happening, but instead the narrator tells the reader what happened.

Consider this group of sentences:  The pedestrian was hit by the car.  The car tires were screeching when the vehicle came to a halt.  A spectator was running around screaming.  911 was called and the ambulance soon arrived. 

Horrible to read, right?

For more action and less passive wording, consider what happens when I take "was" out of that group:  A car slammed into the pedestrian.  The vehicle's tires screeched in protest as the acrid scent of burnt rubber issued from beneath the car.  A spectator ran around, uselessly screaming.  Within minutes of the 911 call, an ambulance zoomed onto the scene.

One of the easiest ways to get rid of was is to look for any was -ing word constructions:  was running, was singing, was eating.  Change these to the past tense form (which will automatically give your writing more action): ran, sang, ate.

The trickier ones to find have a word between was and the -ing word:  was seldom trying, was always teasing, was still shouting.  These should be changed: seldom tried, always teased, still shouted.

You can't always get rid of was, but taking out as many as possible, restructuring sentences with "was" in a more action-oriented way, will definitely give you an edge on the whole "show, don't tell" philosophy.

A great resource I use all the time for more editing tips A-Z can be found here.

Happy writing! Have a wonderful week!