Has true Christmas spirit been forgotten?

With the holidays rapidly approaching, it is always a time of year I take to reflect on the many blessings in my life and how grateful I am for each and every one of them. This year, I've had many new developments. In addition to my wonderful family and the home life I have, my job that keeps food on the table, and all the small blessings I won't list here, I had so many major changes this year. I published my first book, I made friends with a lot of great authors I wouldn't have come into contact with otherwise, met a few readers who have reached out and talked to me, and I found a passion for writing that is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I'm generally a glass-half-full kind of person, but for the last few years, I've struggled with depression issues for various reasons. Writing has brought back to my life the kind of joy I remember feeling as a teenager. I've had some hard blows this year as well, especially with the rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, but overall, I've been the recipient of more blessings than bad news...as I so often am. 

I'm very proud of my children, who have always seemed to grasp the fact that life isn't about having more than the next guy or keeping up with the Joneses. Our Christmas celebrations have been fairly small the last several years, as times are tough for everyone. My kids get a few things they really need and perhaps one gift they want. Most years we could spend more on them, but they like to adopt Christmas Angels off the trees from the stores and spend our Christmas money on children who wouldn't likely get anything otherwise. 

My daughter, Samantha (who is a senior in high school this year), heard on the radio last week that the cut off date was December 7th to turn gifts in for the angels. There was no way I could adopt one, as my shopping money for Christmas will come in right before Christmas itself (looks like another year of shopping on Christmas Eve for me--not an infrequent occurrence). When I told her we couldn't do it she shrugged and told me she was going to go drive around and maybe find herself a new pair of pants (that girl is always out shopping for a new pair of pants and NEVER comes home with one ;-).

What she came home with was an angel ticket for a ten-year-old girl who needs clothes and shoes, and really wants a bicycle. Samantha had an awesome bicycle, three shirts, a pair of pants, and new shoes in her car so she could return them to the drop off place the following day. 

When Samantha went to school the next day, her friends were all talking about the gifts they were going to buy for each other and what they wanted from each other. Samantha told them she was really sorry, but she just spent most of her Christmas money on a little girl and they wouldn't be getting very big presents from her this year. When they all badgered her about how much she spent on a little girl she didn't even know, Sam finally told them around $130. Imagine her shock when they said, "You're stupid! You'll never even meet that kid. She won't ever know what you did for her. What a waste of money!"

These kids spent the rest of the week angry with my daughter because she wouldn't be buying them expensive gifts this year... Really? Although we don't go to church, I am a Christian and I do speak with my children frequently about God and Jesus Christ and what our purpose on Earth is. My belief is your religion, race, sexual preference, sex, age, or amount of money do NOT determine whether or not you are a good person. My belief is we are here to love each other, to help those less fortunate than we are, and to spend our time trying to improve ourselves. 

All Samantha's friends are very strict Christians who go to church every single Sunday, look down at Samantha because she drank alcohol (at family functions) three times in her life, and sometimes tell her she's a bad person because we don't go to church. However, I don't understand how these same teenagers don't understand the meaning of Christmas! They are angry because Samantha made a decision to help someone less fortunate than all of them, instead of buying them each big gifts? They tell her she's stupid because the little girl will never give her any recognition for the good deed? 

I don't understand. What do they teach in some of these churches? And no, I'm not saying all churches are bad. I don't believe in organized religion but I do think it is good for some people. But still...how do they not understand what seems to me to be the most basic of Christian values? You do not give with the intention of receiving adoration and acknowledgment for giving. That is not the point. Samantha did it because she wanted to make sure someone with less than we have has a wonderful Christmas. 

I'm not trying to say my daughter is any better than anyone else, though I must admit to being extremely proud of her. I guess all this just makes me see even more that I am blessed. I hope anyone who sees this blog will take an extra moment to do something nice for a stranger this Christmas season. Even non-Christians can celebrate this way! Shovel your neighbors sidewalk without telling them you did it. Drop some food off on someone's doorstep that you know is struggling (but run away before they catch you and see who did it). Smile at the person in the store who looks down and needs a friendly face to lift them up that day. Anything...little things. Small kindnesses do make a difference. 

I believe that most people really want to be good people. Maybe that is my optimism showing, but I don't think any of us set out to be greedy or uncaring of others. I think in our 'me, me, me, get it now, bigger, faster, better society,' sometimes it's easy to forget about others and be very me-centric. I know I can be sometimes. I think we all can. The trick is looking outside our own family and selves at the bigger picture of life. 

Merry Christmas to all my readers and friends (if you have different beliefs than me, that's okay too - Happy Holidays, whatever that means to you). I wish you all great happiness and a wonderful year. Let's all hold the reason for the season in our hearts and do everything we can to be compassionate to our fellow man and love one another. 

Below is a video of lights synchronized to my favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night. Not the best light show I've ever seen, and I will be sharing others in the next few weeks, but I love Christmas music and I love Christmas lights, so this is perfect. Enjoy!

Peace and love, friends! Have a fantastic week!
eeeChantelfff

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all the daddy's of the world! I hope you have a fabulous day and spend lots of time with your family, or spend it on the phone if you are far away from your children.

I wanted to give a shout out to my Poppa Ray today.  As far as father's go, he's tops in my book.  The best part, he chose to be my Poppa.  No compulsion involved.

I had a great childhood, but since my parents divorced when I was three years old, there wasn't always a stable second parent in my life.  Mom, of course, did a wonderful job and my life has really been a terrific blessing, but my biological father lived seventeen hours away, and I rarely had contact with him.  Sometimes, I missed having a father around.

Enter Ray.  Mom had been single for a while, and she and I lived in a small apartment together when I was fourteen.  She went on one date with this jerk who I really hated.  He gave me a slimy feeling, and Mom came home from that date none too pleased with him either.  After that, I worried about her dating but I also didn't want her to be alone.  Needless to say, I became a little wary when she talked about another guy.  However, she often came home from work telling me about the nice complements this man paid her, and she glowed with joy whenever she talked about him.  His best line ever, one gorgeous day he told her, "This day is almost as pretty as you are." Hearing that totally melted her heart.  Because of this, I decided to give him a chance.

I was nervous to meet him, but I shouldn't have been.  I loved Ray from almost the moment I saw him.  He went out of his way to include me, and make sure it was okay with me if he continued seeing my mom.  Truly, they were meant for each other.  It wasn't long before he asked if it was okay for us to all live together.

I don't know how I made it through fourteen years without him.  Seriously, I already thought I was the luckiest kid in the world, and within a matter of weeks I had a man who wanted to be my father, and wanted to spend the rest of his life making my mom happy.  Perhaps for some people this transition would have been hard, but I don't remember ever resenting sharing him with my mom.  I just remember being pleased to finally have a wonderful father.

Poppa Ray used to own a cabin in the mountains, and we spent many a weekend there, merging his family of six kids with my mom's family of six kids. He knew all the great places to go hiking and we went on a lot of day trips to see waterfalls. For my fifteenth birthday he planned a trip to Park City. It was a lot of fun exploring that little town, and I remember we even ate lunch on a second-floor balcony and it was so fun.  Around my sixteenth birthday we went on a trip to Las Vegas.  All sorts of fun things I don't know if Mom and I would have experienced just the two of us.

He also spent a lot of time encouraging me in any dreams I had (and still does to this day). I've shared this before, but I was raised thinking I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. I have the most supportive parents I think it is possible to have. Their faith in me is, perhaps, the best gift they ever gave me.

Time marches on, and Poppa Ray morphed to Grandpa Ray.  Then, my kids were the ones who went on hikes in the mountains, spending one week every summer with my parents and their cousins at the cabin--no parents allowed! Poppa Ray always took them on money hunts where they "found" money on a dirt trail. They always came home with so many quarters. I think Poppa was much poorer at the end of the week!  So many good memories!

Parent Person,

I want to thank you for being my Poppa.  All the little notes exchanged back and forth before school and work since we didn't always cross paths, knowing I had a father figure I could count on, and being here for me ever since.  There are no words to express my gratitude and love. Thank you for choosing me as your daughter.

I love you lots and lots! ~ The Cute One!